Life can be a rollercoaster and it's sometimes that experience of just when I feel like I am getting towards the top of the ride of life, I'm suddenly hurtling down the tracks at break neck speed to be unceremoniously thrown into a loop.
Some days are good and some days are shit. Some days I feel like I've got it all under control and other days I feel like I'm barely being held to the earth by gravitational pull. I honestly feel like an astronaut floating around in the blackness of space, still connected to the mother ship but unable to communicate because of some technical glitch.
I'm perplexed and confused quite a lot of the time by people's reactions to the news, the truth, the simple facts around what's happening in the world. I'm overcome with a deep sense of sadness with how divided we are as nations and a world at large. And no one has the playbook on this no matter what they say! So all this intense judgment, when I believe most people are doing the best they can do with what they've got, is really confounding.
One person's reality is not another person's truth, but people want to abuse and belittle. They want answers that no can give and assurances that no one can make. We're mostly angry, scared and a bit lost from what I see. The world's completely triggered and running around in an amygdala hijack reacting out of a survivalist place of fight, flight or freeze. Don't see too many people fawning…
It seems like the wrong time for petty disagreements and finger pointing. I don't have to agree with you, but I certainty don't want to waste my precious energy and emotional resources fighting with you. Living in an international state of panic is exhausting enough without that.
It would be so incredible to see more people looking for ways to find a little common ground because it's definitely not helping anyone to spend their magic on hatred and vitriol. I've been working around this idea for a while and it just doesn't make sense that in the face of a common enemy "invader" we are unable to pull together and use the collective energy to support and help one another.
I'm stressed and tired today. Money is an issue. Work has promise but there's nothing really concrete at the moment. And still I know that I don't want to spend time fighting and arguing with people about what is or isn't the reality. People are sick, people are dying, people are hungry and people are overwhelmed. What will it take for us to see each other and hold out our hands and hearts with the simple message of "I see you and I honour your life and the current struggle we are facing."
Would it be so bad to actually be able to create a togetherness right now where we're not all caught in our own echo chambers, wrapped up in our confirmation bias around who's right and who's wrong? It's telling that we're unable to just stop and see and recognize that this is a universal pain and the only way we start to truly heal is to know that we're better together.
Writing this has made me feel a lot more present and grounded, but the confusion lingers. Tomorrow is another day to try and make sense of this. Maybe tomorrow I'll see things a little differently and find my way through my mental and emotional clutter towards a slightly better understanding of what it's all about.
And what if, like I ask my clients over and over, "What if it all works out and everything is okay?"